I was taking a bus downtown from the school the other day, and as the bus turned down Mornington Ave, I was suddenly struck by a type of deja-vu; I recalled a time shortly after I moved to London two and a half years ago that I was walking down the same road, looking at the cute, small houses along the street, when it occurred to me I’d wind up settling down here.
See, at the time I had left everything behind and finally made the move to London, and as I saw the cute little houses, I thought that I might wind up owning one of them someday. I was closer to Erica, I was starting fresh, getting on in my years, it seemed like a reasonable thought to have. I definitely didn’t think then that after this time I could be back in school, studying intensively with a plan to move back to Toronto after graduation.
I had no idea then any of the shit that was waiting for me, any of the obstacles and pains I’d have to overcome. So I guess when I look forward now, unlike then, I’ll just allow myself resignation in the fact that I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, even as soon as this summer.
Isn’t it weird sometimes how unpredictable life can really be? If I’ve learned anything at all these past few years, it’s that I never have things figured out the way I think I do. Not a bad thing, I just don’t know.