Rejected superheroes and their powers.

  • “Every Man” : Superman-like character with an innate understanding and empathy toward women; macho yet understanding visage masks deeply packed anti-masculine hatred and a self-loathing for being a man.

  • “Day Man” : fighter of the Night Man, champion of the sun.

  • “The Eraser” : hyper-intelligent being that can see a short distance into the future, but can only relay his visions to others by drawing them out comic-style. Also, absolutely killer at sudoku puzzles, but doesn’t like crosswords as he can only really spell out words if he can write them down and see them.

  • “Balletrina” : statuesque blonde whose only ability is to become incredibly clumsy in the days leading up to her period.

  • “The Alien” : hero from space whose power is derived from a guitar that bursts forth with energy as he plays… unfortunately, he’s self-taught and his powers are limited to Kiss-style pentatonic scale solos, so it really only kind of tickles annoyingly.

  • “The Sweetheart” (retired) : armed with powers of persuasion, she left the crime-fighting scene to take up acting; she hasn’t been seen since that walk-on role on 24 failed to garner any more work.

  • “Jon” : some dude in a Death Cab t-shirt who stands in the corner and acts out scenes from films starring Vince Vaughan (used as a diversion, perhaps?).

  • “The Cliche” : in real life, a single mother of five that’s raising her children while putting herself through Law in night school so she needn’t harass her deadbeat ex-husband for payments – most criminals surrender in her presence to spare themselves a lecture about “how hard life really is” (tentatively portrayed by Julia Roberts).

  • “Antman.”

One Response to “Rejected superheroes and their powers.”
  1. Nicole says:

    I want to know more about Antman!

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  • About

    My name is Bobby.

    I write about random things a lot. I write a lot about random things.

    I write occasionally for Smashing Magazine and the London Community News online, and weekly for Interrobang, the student voice newspaper at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario.

    I've also been published by the Canadian University Press.
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