Don’t touch his nuts.
For anyone who hasn’t picked up on it already, or noticed Nicole’s comment on a previous post, she has a pretty strong nut allergy. Which essentially means when we’re together that I have a pretty strong nut allergy. And well, frankly I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little disconcerting… and the truth is that it’s lead to me having these terrifying realistic dreams of transgressing.
With peanut butter.
“Where have you been? Seriously, you should’ve been here like, I don’t know… 90 seconds ago, or something.”
“What? I guess I just walked a little slower, is all. I’m here.”
“Don’t give me that. What have you been doing?”
“What? Nothing. Don’t give me those eyes.”
“You’ve been at it again. You’ve been eating nuts, haven’t you?”
“What?? Give me a little credit, I’m practically allergic to them…”
“Don’t give me that! What’s that on your collar??”
“What? That’s nothing! It’s… er… lipstick! From another woman!”
“The hell it is!! That’s peanut butter!!”
“Alright!! I admit it! I was at this dude’s house, and I had a peanut butter cup. But everyone was doing them! They were being passed around, I didn’t know what to do – I panicked!!”