Bored?

Here’s a little thing I like to do from time to time – take any block of text, regardless of how menial, and punch it into Altavista’s Babel Fish translator. Translate it into whatever language you like, then translate it back into English.

This is awesome, simply cos Babel Fish has to be the shittiest translator out there. The way it comes back to you in the end is purely ridiculous. And for even more fun, do it a second time! Use a different language. Mix it up. To illustrate my point, take the following story, from a msg I sent recently to Nicole:

I’ve been playing this shooter game called Unreal for the last little while, and Buster came along and jumped into my lap to curl up. Which is no big deal, he does it all the time.

So I get to this level where I’m defending myself against all these spiders… some big, some small. Personally, I’m a little freaked out. I’m no real fan of spiders to begin with, and this are hard to kill, getting in close, whatever.

So Buster buries his head in the crook of my arm as though to shield his eyes. Which I think is funny, sure, and I don’t make anything of it. But then, a minute ago, I decided to get up, get ready for bed and all, and look down at him lying this way. I don’t really want to disturb him, but I can’t help it, so I move the arm in question to wake him up.

Without missing a beat, he immediately starts licking his paw and cleaning his face some, as though to say something like, “nah, dude, I wasn’t scared, that’s just how I do this. What?”


Pretty straightforward, cute anecdote. Now, apply the Babel Fish procedure, and we get this:

I am playing this game of the shooter called Unreal for the last little moment and the phenomenon has come ahead and has jumped in my turn in order to goffer itself in on. Which it is great transaction, ago the all time.

Therefore I obtain to this level in which I am defending against all these spiders… some large one, some small. Personally, they are a small freaked outside. They are fan real of the spiders to begin with and this is hard to kill, obtaining in the end, any.

Therefore the phenomenon buries the its head in the truffatore of my arm like if in order protect its eyes. Which task is amusing, sure and I do not make null of it. But then, a minute makes, has decided to raise itself, to obtain aspects for the base and all and watches he down that this sense is found. I really do not wish to disturb it, but I cannot help it, so as to I move the arm in issue in order to wake up it in on.

Without to lack a beat, immediately it begins to leccare its paw and cleaning up its face some, like if saying something it appreciate, “nah, tizio, have not been scared, that it is right as I make this. That what “


Amazing!! I rest my case.


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  • About

    My name is Bobby.

    I write about random things a lot. I write a lot about random things.

    I write occasionally for Smashing Magazine and the London Community News online, and weekly for Interrobang, the student voice newspaper at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario.

    I've also been published by the Canadian University Press.
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