I don’t really know how to word anything, anymore. I’m not sure how to write here, now, whether that’s from the lack over the last little while, I can’t be sure. It’s just, how to word it all, that’s the problem. Not that I’ve ever tried to go nuts here about my feelings or anything, but that sense of catharsis is gone. The feeling to write for the sake of writing is gone. Things are piling up.
My relationship ended a few weeks ago – that’s one of the things. And since it’s such a long and complicated situation, I don’t know that any of the details will surface here. But all the old feelings, all the greys, they all come back from time to time, when I’m left to my thoughts. If there’s one way I’ve been very lucky since my move to London, it’s that I’ve made some amazing friends who’ve been very helpful in helping me work through the situation.
I’ve started a business, that’s another thing. It’s another extremely long story, and one that I’ll delve into in great detail when the time is right. But to be working on goals, bringing ideas to fruition, and designing again is a fantastic positive to my days lately.
And a few nights ago, I went and finally checked out Marianas Trench in London. Having not seen them since June, I wasn’t really expected any of these guys to remember me, particularly in a new city, but in fact they did, and it was the best performance I’ve seen them give yet. Add that to the fact that a couple of the boys came out drinking with us after, and all the fantastic, interesting new people I met at or simply promoting the show, and you’ve got yourself a night I was more than glad I booked off of work.
Anyway, I’ve obviously got stories to tell, I just need to find the drive with which to tell them. I guess I don’t have any point in writing here, excepting to say that I’m alive, and that I’ve been seeing a lot of circles lately. Relationships, jobs, friends… I guess as surely as everything begins, opens up, that there’ll always come a time of completion. There’s a closing time for everything.