45 ml.

Well, it’s been a long few days, but I’m back and all rested up and stuff. I got to hang at my friend Rick’s place yesterday between shifts at work, cos I was downtown to get a physical and take a drug test for work. This is a procedure taken by all temps at work before they can begin the process of joining the company; a handful of manual tests and a check on vision and hearing, all designed to ensure the worker’s capability to work, or workability, if you’re into buzz words.

Anyway, being something of a good boy, I went into the drug test portion pretty confident, but I can’t say I didn’t have questions beforehand. I made a list, and made a point of asking around at work… see, there were a few substances whose legality I wasn’t quite sure of.

So, I posed the question: What do you think would happen if the test revealed…

  • Carbogen?
    A dietary supplement, so nothing too odd, but then it has been banned in 49 of 50 States. Side note: anything goes in South Carolina.

  • Anabolic steroids?
    Not that I’m on them too much right now, but I’ve been thinking about it.

  • Diabolic steroids?
    Or for that matter anything of a pure, unadulterated evil?

  • Parabolic and/or Hyperbolic steroids?
    I’m not sure if I have to invent these for them to exist, but I’m always up for a challenge. And for your information, I could’ve gone on some time with that ‘-olic’ suffix.

  • Sextasy?
    More of a feeling than a drug, but it’s as infectious as laughter.

  • An excess of hydrogen?
    Like, far more than there should be…

    Anyway, the test is behind me now, so all is well, and I’ve made up today for the lack of sleep I got yesterday. What a day…

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    • About

      My name is Bobby.

      I write about random things a lot. I write a lot about random things.

      I write occasionally for Smashing Magazine and the London Community News online, and weekly for Interrobang, the student voice newspaper at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario.

      I've also been published by the Canadian University Press.
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